It was hard to narrow down just 5 rivalries among the crazy amount of Christmas movies that are out there. I mean the McCallister family vs CPS didn't even make my list! While Christmas is all about coming together, there have been some epic head-to-head matchups and here are my Top 5! Please leave a comment and let me know what your Top 5 would be.
5. Train Conductor vs Know-it-All Kid
You can cut the tension with a knife between these two. First off, the dork kid may have the most punch able face in cinema history. Secondly, nobody likes a snitch, and this rat spends the entire movie making you want to reach for your 9. The Conductor has some eye rolls and harsh body language when it comes to this kid, but he really bodies him when it comes to punching his ticket. The main protagonist gets his ticket punched, spelling "Believe", a positive message about Christmas spirit. The dork @ss kid gets "Learn", as in you're gonna learn today. Truly nasty work by the conductor. In fact, all the kids besides him get positive messages. Guarantee this kid "Learned" what it meant to be posterized before he got off that train.
4. Howard vs Myron
I nearly didn't put this one on the list because it isn't as widely seen, but Jingle all the Way is a Christmas must-see, and it has been out for nearly 30 years so get with the program people. (Streaming on Prime, Hulu, & Disney). These two spend the entire movie fighting each other for a Turbo Man action figure for their sons but it is Christmas Eve and sold out. No other Christmas duo has this much on-screen violence between each other. They Derrick Henry-Esque truck each other into shelving, brawl in a cafe phone booth, and end up battling on a Christmas float. While the hatred isn't there that some of these other rivalries have, they make up for it in their willingness to put their body on the line.
3. Rudolph vs The Other Reindeer
You have heard about the reindeer games. But you would not BELIEVE the level of shit talk in this rivalry. The movie and songs try to make it sound like the issue was due to Rudolph having a "defect" and being ostracized by the others. In reality, it's the opposite and it's super obvious. Simply put, Rudolph is and always has been HIM. The way he flexed on the other reindeers was insane, and it's no wonder he pulled the baddest and thiccest reindeer. He was Santa's point man since pop warner, and it took just one snowy night for him to solidify his GOAT status. The "other reindeer" title is honestly so disrespectful as they had names too and went on to live normal lives. Meanwhile, Rudy is signing max-deals and rolling in more than one type of snow. Victim my @$$.
2. The Miser Brothers
Family means nothing to these two and they are polar opposite. Both of their perfect worlds include the demise of their counterpart. While they don't go head-to-head like some of these others, this rivalry has had its icy moments and times when it really heats up. They both have their own groupies who sing their praise but also have their fair share of critics. Tua and the Dolphins have had complaints about Mr. Ice Miser. Heat miser is said to be vacationing under Derrick Lewis's balls resulting in controversy.
1. The Grinch vs The Whos
Yes, they make up in the end but how do you ignore 53 years of an absolutely ELECTRIC rivalry. This one man took on an entire city of people and was still favored by -3.5. Legendary. He suffered his share of losses with having to grit through each holiday and even some elementary ridiculing. However, he kept that town on lock down with aura alone and nobody would even try the king. He put the rivalry to bed with his blow-out win by stealing Christmas from the Whos. This man was literally taking food off of family's tables. He was breaking in your home, snatching up your stuff and bouncing. Unstoppable. The only rivalry that could have topped this is if Rudolph and the Grinch played in the same era. Both GOATS of their era's. Whereas Rudolph was solid back in the day before the league got soft, The Grinch put up numbers like nobody has ever seen.
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